struggles....

i guess everyone has some point in their life where they struggle with what they believe. i'm in that right now. i see so much sadness, so much injustice. people who deserve horrible things flourish. i just don't understand and get it anymore. so i need to work things out with myself.

i need to rant....

bear with me, i need to get this out. i put absolutely no stock in education anymore. i used to think, oh masters, doctorates, wonderful. not anymore. my poor husband is about to have a stinking doctorate degree cannot get a job! i just don't understand why no one, well, one school this year, has given him a chance to interview! it's ridiculous. he's unfortunately wasted the past 12 years out of his life working towards what he thought he was called to do and nothing. NOTHING!!! i'm so fed up with this. i'm fed up with wasting our money on sending applications and not even a courtesy of a phone interview. he's qualified people!!! i am so mad. i am so mad at every school he's ever applied to. i'm so mad that he's put so much time and effort into something important to him and nothing good coming out of it. i'm just mad. people, believe me, it's not worth it. the only thing worth it is hard work. my parents for example, neither have college degrees, but they worked long and hard for where they are at today. and they deserve it. i'm tired of all this, really tired. tired of not knowing anything. tired of seeing my husband constantly disappointed. sorry for the long, bashing, complaining post. i just had to get this off my chest.

stinker of a week...

thought i'd go ahead and continue on my negative posts. this week royally stinks. tuesday, d gets yet another job rejection. one he was really happy and excited about. the next day, our town gets destroyed by a tornado. i'm thankful we are safe and only lost power and food in our fridge. but it's horrible here. i've never seen anything like this.

well....

i realize i haven't actually blogged this year, other than a couple book reviews. well, not much to blog about. still the same thing. nothing exciting. i thought we might have some changes on the horizon, but alas, no. i don't understand a lot of things these days. i guess i never will. i guess i just have to accept things the way they are and be content. i may write again, but it really just depresses me even more when i have nothing to write about....

tell me why...

i don't like mondays...

that's a good song. so as much as i hate a monday, i'm grateful for a new week. the last few weeks have just stunk. i know things could be so much worse, but when there's no hope in site, it's hard to see it that way. last monday, david found out someone else got a job he and i were both really hoping for at least getting an interview. it wouldn't have been too terribly far away, and i just knew he was going to get to interview for it. shows what i know. at least the guy over there was nice enough to let him know so we can move on to the next. well, not too many "next" anymore. the hiring season is almost over for next school year. i guess things have just really worked out for him to finish at a bad time. the economy stinks and of course, jobs in fine arts education are scarce. deep down i know everything will work out how it's supposed to, but i thought by now it would have. unfortunately, i've become miss negativity lately. i'm sure everyone just loves being around me.

here's hoping this week will bring better things. maybe....

i think i'm done....

with american idol. it's just not much to me anymore. i know lee will win tonight, not saying he's not good. but i think crystal is better. she's worked harder for it, she's got a better voice, and she's just a flat out cool girl. hopefully, it'll be just like last year when adam lambert lost, but is obviously the more successful one now. at least i have an almost dr. of music agreeing with me.

at least i still got survivor. speaking of survivor, i dreamed i was interviewed to be on it.