an actual post....

since i reopened my blog, i read my last few posts again.   i feel i need to explain a little backstory.  only people who know us well, know what our situation is.  my sweet husband got a doctorate a couple years ago.  he felt this was what he was called to do.  we thought he would finish school and get a teaching job right away.   he was a graduate assistant all through his doctorate work, a favorite of all his teachers, good reviews on his work, great teaching reviews, etc.  all the things that you think would help get a job.  well, it hasn't been that easy.  with the economy the way it is, his field is always one of the first to be cut.  so, the last few years, all it's been is adjunct positions.  don't get me wrong, we are very grateful for those.  and for my job that has supported us all through this.  but, it's been a tough road.  he wants to start his "career".  i want to see him succeed.  we want to get somewhere and get our roots established.  maybe start our family.  we're both getting on up there in age.  so, the last two school years, he's had very serious interviews which looked like they would work out.  neither did.  it devastated me because i got my hopes up that it was finally our time.  it hurt him because he thought he finally found the right positions. thankfully, an adjunct position worked out for both school years.  now, we are once again at that point where we don't know if something will work out for us or not.  he's been happy teaching where he's at, and they have told him he could continue as an adjunct next year.  it's something, but we still hope for that full time position.  so, that's my heart out there. it's actually feels good to air it all out.  it's been such a long road.  i've been reading about the Israelites in the wilderness for 40 years, and i keep telling myself, 6 years is nowhere near 40.  look at what they went through.  but it's still hard.  i still have work to do on myself to be patient in God's timing.  and it's a struggle.  when i think i'm doing better, i sink back down into my pity hole.  i guess i just need to remember that song we sang in Sunday School when i was little, "He's still working on me".  i'm definitely a work in progress.