hello, again....

i stopped my blog for awhile because i was going through some issues. not to say i'm not still going through issues, but i missed doing book reviews. if you read my last blog post, you'll see i didn't feel too great about anything. d had interviewed for a job that we both thought he would get. if you know us personally, you know we've had a struggle with him finding a full time position for close to 6 years now. it wears on you. mentally, emotionally. i was so tired of it. i still am. he still doesn't have anything full-time, but hopefully, something will work out for us soon. i would love to be close to family again. you never realize how close you are to people until you live away from them. anyways, that's my ramblings on why i closed my blog and reopened it. i'll try to post some, but really, i just like reviewing books.

low....

i think i'm at the lowest point i've ever been. i have no hope. i've lost faith in everything. i just can't bear to go on anymore. it's hurts each minute of the day. i just give up on life. i can't do it anymore.

thank you....

to yet another job for not hiring david. i hope you stumble upon my blog and read how much you disappointed my husband. on a day i lose someone very important to me on top of it. i'm sick of this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yeah, i know....

i just really need to make a whiny, poor, poor pitiful me post. sometimes it just makes me feel better. i thought we would know something about the fall by now. i guess this just really isn't going to be d's calling. i'm so tired of trying. i'm tired of seeing him get his hopes up for interviews, then nothing works out. i wish someone would just give him a chance. i really hate they didn't bring him on where we was. everybody likes him there. i guess school politics really mess things up. it's just been such a long struggle for both of us. i'm so tired of seeing my smart, talented husband feel like he's wasted years working for something that he can't even get a job doing. i don't even feel like education is worth it anymore. if you have a doctorate and can't get a job, what's the use. if you're reading this, pray for us. pray for him to not feel like he doesn't have a purpose, that he hasn't wasted his life. i'm so tired of this battle.

to be continued....continued....

i haven't finished my post on rodney yet. i'm going to get around to it one of these days. i have tons of neat pics from the old rodney cemetery. work got really busy on me this past month. we've got someone leaving, and i ended up being the resume reviewer, interview scheduler, sit in on interviews person. that ate up a couple weeks real easy. plus it's almost easter, and working at a church, that's probably the busiest time of the year. right up there with christmas and charge conference. so, i'll get to my other post one day. just thought i'd let the world know i haven't forgotten :)

good ol mississippi, rodney....

i know. i haven't been around in a while. all the stuff i had going on health wise around the holidays kept me from feeling like doing anything. but, i feel much better and plan to keep it that way.

i took a long weekend a couple weeks ago and went home to visit. i was never proud of being from mississippi, but the older i get, the more i love it. there's so much history. and so many people don't know it. my parents have always enjoyed just getting out and riding. seeing different things, visiting different places around the state. i'm an only child, so those outings to me are very special. i asked them next time i was home, could we ride over and see some of the old places close by. so i thought i'd share a few pictures of my favorite mississippi places....

rodney, ms

rodney actually used to be a booming town. the river ran right through it. it was quite the bustling river port. well, it's pretty much a ghost town now. all that's around are hunting camps and a few houses here and there. but, there's the gems that are left from that era. this is the old rodney presbyterian church. if you look close above the middle window on the second floor, there's a cannonball. story goes, as i've heard it and probably not that accurate, there was a union battleship stationed just outside of rodney on the river. the confederates had a camp just behind the church. the officers had an agreement that none of the men would leave the ship. well, those union soldiers just couldn't take the sight of those pretty mississippi girls all dolled up for church on sunday morning. so, a few sneaked off the ship and went to church one sunday. they didn't know some confederate generals were in the service that morning, and they captured them. the union ship fired on the church and there stuck the cannonball. it's not the original, but it's still neat.




the church was actually open the day we stopped by. it breaks my heart to see such history falling into disrepair. just to think who all worshiped there. how much these pews have seen. i think about my home church and how much it means to me, i just can't imagine it being covered in dust with broken windows. so sad.



i wonder how many times this piano has played "amazing grace", "victory in Jesus", or "just as i am". all the voices that accompanied it.









back behind the church, a hike behind the church i should add, many people don't know is a very old cemetery. want to talk about sadness, this is sadness. so many people buried back there and forgotten. many of the tombstones are broken or sinking into the ground. it's absolutely one of the most beautiful and haunting places i've ever seen. we walked around it for easily over an hour. i could have stayed there all day reading the tombstones. i actually think i'll continue this into another post. i could go on and on about the cemetery, so i'll just leave you with a taste....

update....

since i left facebook, i thought i'd post an update for anyone who cares. i had a pulmonary function test done today and monday i have an echo cardiogram. hopefully, between the two of those, they can figure out what's wrong with me. i feel better just being on the new inhaler the dr. gave me last thursday. i have actually ate pretty well for almost a week. i've probably ate the same amount of food in 5 days than i did in the 5 weeks before that. so, hopefully, i don't look like i'm dying of some horrible disease, as my mother told me, anymore. i'm still trying to find a home for one kitten if anybody is interested. super sweet, playful, and loving. i wish so much i could keep all of them, but it really would not help my health right now. i feel like a horrible person putting my health before a precious animal, but i gotta start taking better care of myself if i'm even gonna see 30. :)