disney fund...

i'm getting our september budget set up and have $11.10 leftover from our personal, house, pets, and eating out budgets from august. i'll have another deposit tomorrow or tuesday when i see how much we have left from our grocery budget for august. it's going slow, but $160.40 in a little over a money in money we don't miss. that's pretty good. couponing and smart shopping pays off.

calling all orders....

i'm placing my thirty-one launch party order friday around noon, so get your orders in to take advantage of the august $1 embroidery special. shop now! help me get off to a good start.

busy busy...

that how i feel these days. i feeled pulled in so many directions and just can't get it all done. i was going to create a blog for my 31 stuff, but i have enough trouble keeping up with my own blog. i think i'll just post on here about it. so here's the august customer and hostess specials if anyone wants to order or have a party:


you can shop online anytime at my website, samantha's 31. check it out. super cute stuff!

on another note, i got a $40 check for doing some surveys. so $149.30 in the disney fund now. yay! my mean ol parents are going back next month without me. :( better bring me back some park 4 and have a laugh vinyls.

bleck....

so i feel really crummy today. it just hasn't been a good day. today would have been jacob's 21st birthday. i really miss him. i miss shooting bottle rockets with him. i miss putting up christmas lights with him. i miss his really funny laugh when he thought something was hilarious, it was so loud and just filled the room. so funny. i can't see big mama's house or the nutty professor without thinking about that laugh. i question it so much especially since i've spent the last few years struggling with anxiety and depression. i don't even feel comfortable saying that cause i can put on a good happy face for everyone around me. i just like to keep it private. but it is true. i wonder so much why him and why not me. but i guess i should think at least he doesn't have to worry with the pains of this world anymore. i don't usually post such personal blogs, but it actually makes me feel better to get it out.

disney fund and thirty-one....

that almost rhymes :). anyways, i have a couple of things to write about today. i'm adding to our disney fund, $21.38 leftover from our grocery budget and $45 from opinion outpost surveys. $109.30 saved in a month. slow start i know, but i've got other survey checks coming and hopefully i'll have a bigger deposit at the end of the month.

on another note, i'm officially a thirty-one consultant now. yay! i didn't know this company existed until my favorite blog, couponing to disney, did a giveaway of one of their items. well, i looked up the site, fell in love with the products, and signed up. didn't happen that quick. i researched it all last week. the company name comes from proverbs 31:31. i love that. i'm hopefully going to set up a seperate blog sometime this week to keep up with my progress.

my last few posts have been weird and vague and upset and so on. but things seem to be looking up now. it's just hard for me to accept God's plans are not necessarily my plans. i see things falling into place now. i really feel like i was led to thirty-one, so that will hopefully help this year since david's assistanceship was not renewed. he'll defend his dissertation this fall, give his recital in the spring, and graduate may 2011. finally! :) he'll be dr. after all these years. it's been tough, but i gotta keep faith that everything will fall into place.

perspective....

well my last post was crazy to anyone who doesn't know what's going on in my life. this is really the first day i've felt decent since last saturday. i've spent the past week being miserable and worried and anxious and so many other emotions. i won't go into detail, but it's just been a really tough time for me and david. lots of things neither of us can understand right now, and i guess we're not supposed to. that's where faith is built. i've had a terrible struggle with faith this week. thankfully, i was blessed with sleep last night and i think i'm seeing things more logically. i think at least. it's hard, but as so many people are telling me, things could be worse. it's hard to look at the bright side of things when there's no light anywhere. i'm being vague, i know, but if i think about things to write about them, it'll just bring them up in my mind again. so, at that point, i will end here. i'm going home this afternoon and to new orleans tomorrow. maybe things will look brighter when we get back....

i have to get this out.,..

why won't anyone give my husband a chance?!?!?! i just don't understand. he's qualified for every job he applies for and doesn't even get a chance. i just don't understand. we're both at the end of our ropes and i don't know what we are going to do. we've prayed and prayed and prayed. and i just can't understand anything anymore.